The New Deal and How It Is With Me.

My instincts were telling me two months ago to start looking for a new job. I hated working there anyways. But I got busy with the busy work and the other distractions of life and so I was unprepared when today, I was told, "We're going in a different direction for the office."

The new plan is for a temp to cover my job (as well as they are able). In the meantime, I've been asked to stay on through February 14th, in order to help get the new temp up to speed. In return for this, they'll actually pay me through the end of March. Which gives me 6 weeks after I actually walk out the door for the last time, before I am technically unemployed.

I agreed.

What other choice did I have?

So, I threw away a ton of personal stuff today and cleaned out my one drawer of books that I've read on lunch breaks and Red Eyes with my improv team featured in them. I threw away Christmas cards and my two week old birthday card. I deleted all the emails that I was saving because I needed some tidbit of information in them. And I took care of odds and ends through the rest of the work day.

And tomorrow I'll go into work like nothing has happened and work throughout the day on updating the manual that my replacement will use to attempt to perform my job, after I'm gone. I'll also call my old temp agency during my lunchbreak and touch base with them. Those guys love me. They'll be sorry to hear that I'm gone from this job and happy to have me back. I'll probably take Tuesday of next week off to place my resume with a few other firms. (Maybe Wednesday.) I want to turn this right around, as quickly as possible. My secret goal is to have another job lined up before the end of March. As a big middle finger to the people who thought I was expendable.

Oh, and to start the day, they fired someone else in my office and demoted the Sr. VP of my office and eliminated the Acquisitions department altogether. Henceforth, our office will be concerned with two things... Asset Management and Underwriting. The Actual acquisition of new business and revenue will apparently be handled by offices in Cleveland and San Francisco. Apparently, my office has been spectacularly bad about generating new business. Ah well. I answered the phone and shipped mail items. Not much I can do about gaining the office new business, can I?

So, yeah, I got laid off today. And predictably, I feel both angry and terrible, all at the same time. And scared too. I am scared that I won't find work and will go broke and fuck up my life and Joe's life, too. My worst nightmare, the dark slimy thing swimming around at the bottom of the well of despair is the Horrible Possibility of Retreating back to Ky. Talk about motivation to get going. I desperately don't want that to happen.

So, I'm focused on what I need to do and how I can sell myself to a new office somewhere. And hopefully be gainfully employed again by the end of March. Or at the very least, temping enough that I can buy a little time.

I'm tired now. And a little depressed. I don't want to type anymore. And I don't feel like looking for some clever picture to post here to visually represent what I'm talking about. So, instead, I'll post a picture from the File of Pictures that I Might Want to Post in a Blog Post, instead.

Proper fucked,
Mr.B


(Ironically, this picture was taken in the office that I don't work at anymore - as of February 14th.)